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Lying To Our Children: What Are “Bad Words”?

It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach kids right from wrong. Of course, that includes informing them about the evils of using foul language and what “foul language” entails. Children are told that “Hell” and “damn” are only to be used in religious contexts to illustrate the anger of a chosen deity, while uttering the likes of “ass” and “bitch” would garner an instant soap-to-the-mouth experience. But sometimes, parents lie to their children! They lie to them about foul language!

Growing up in the 1990’s, many students were taught that the likes of “butt”, “zit”, “sex”, “foxy”, “swear”, “fart”, etc. were all bad words. Hearing someone utter one of these words caused the entire classroom to gasp in horror like someone had just dropped the f-bomb. If a cartoon character said any of these terms, a sense of adrenaline began rushing through you, as you quickly looked around the room to make sure your mother had not heard the utterance, lest she turn off your television for “watching filth”.

These teachings were to the extent that one time my kindergarten teacher used the phrase “No ifs, ands, or buts”, and several members of my class became upset at this tragic homonym mix-up. A little boy tried arguing with her about it, and when she said, “I said ‘buts’ not ‘butts’!” he argued that now she had said it multiple times and he would be telling his mother. One little girl actually cried that her teacher could be such a bad person.

All over the word “butt”.

You said “butt”! You’re going straight to Hell, mister!!

Similar events occurred in third grade, when one little girl decided to read the opening flap of her textbook–the part that lists the author information, copyright, and publisher–saw the word “sex” (referencing not discriminating based on sex) in the disclaimer, and was instantly upset that her arithmetic book had a bad word in it. Did she know what “sex” meant, whether in regards to biology or to intimate acts? Not in the slightest. She had just been taught that “sex was bad!” That same little girl, months later, accidentally said to her friends “I promise! I swear!” and instantly looked horrified and began praying to God, as she had been told never to swear.

She grew up and became a nun. Not even kidding.

Two decades later–I know, right?!–, many of these “nineties’ kids” are wondering why our parents lied to us. Why did they tell us that these were bad words, when by the fifth grade everyone know what the real bad words were. As my generation begins to have children of our own, many of us are reluctant to pass along these symbolic mistruths to them. We would rather teach them not to say what really constitutes as foul language, rather than nit-picking over other words that are completely fine to say in a PG-rated movie. At the same time, we don’t want our children to be known as “those foul-mouthed kids” for nonchalantly saying “My big sister has a bit zit” on the school bus one morning.

Does anyone even continue this trend, or is this just a baby-boomer faux-pas?

“We still teach the preschoolers in the school I work at that those words are ‘bad’,” admits Jillian Meinze of Louisville, Kentucky. “My reasoning behind it is that when they learn those words and what they mean, they think its funny. So they repeat it and make it into things inappropriate. For example: a little boy the other day was running around my classroom singing, ‘Booty butts, booty butts’ and slapping his butt as he did so.”

“Kids are always going to do and say inappropriate things,” counters Linda White, also of Louisville, Kentucky. “It’s part of being a kid. Take away their ability to be silly and say ‘fart’ at random times, and they’re going to find something else to take its place. That’s no reason to unfairly impact their vocabulary.”

Mommy, she has a bad word on her face!!

It’s the debate between pee and urine all over again.

But is it fair to eliminate certain connotations from our children’s minds just to “protect them” or to save our own faces? What happens when they grow up and realize that those words really aren’t bad words after all? What will they think about the other values we have taught them? Won’t they question those, too?

This is one of those tricky issues that has no concrete answer. No one likes being told how to parent their children, but odd parenting styles can negatively impact a child later on in life.

Weigh in below. Should we eschew telling our children that “butt” and “zit” are bad words?

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Worst Christmas Presents Of 2012!!

Businesses have come up with a few interesting products over the years in order to strike it big. There are always those doozies–like blankets with sleeves–that leave consumers thinking that there is not a single person on earth who would buy that. Any yet so many of us do. Here are a couple more that fall into the What-Were-They-Thinking category.

Edible Deodorant: A Belgium-based company recently released its perfume candy line called Deo. This candy claims to take away body odor from the inside out. The website claims that “science and nature have come together to make a functional food that leaves your skin with a beautiful rose fragrance.

“Oh man, I just love putting on deodorant! Maybe I’ll try a little bite…”

Scientists, however, aren’t sure if this is a true statement. It is believed that if one eats a large amount of food with overpowering scents, such as curry or garlic, it could work its way into sweat gland and be released through the skin. The problem is no one has tested this before, because why would they?

As of now, these deodorizing candies can be found in the United States only online. If it seems like too much of a hassle, perhaps we should all stick to regular deodorant.

The Baby Mop: The Baby Mop is a way to have babies help with the housework. Here’s how the product markets: it’s hard to keep the house clean, and you can’t stop babies from crawling, so kill two birds with one stone. The Baby Mop is full-length onesie with mop-like tassels on the arms and legs. As the kids crawl around on the floor, they clean it.

Oppa Mopping Style??

The price of pawning chores onto your newborn is only $40, so it isn’t surprising that the creators, BetterThanPants.com, have seen a steady sale of 60 a day. They expect to see an increase over the holidays.

The Sad State Of Parenting

I can’t be the only one who’s noticed how horrible parents have gotten in recent years? I mean, for the love of God, giving a kid a cookie just so they will shut the hell up?! This only proves that we should let people run with scissors just to weed out the dumbasses.

Seriously, this would be the best instance of Darwinism of all time.

When you and I were kids, if we acted out in public screaming and pulling stuff off shelves in the supermarket, we would’ve gotten our asses kicked in a heartbeat. Had we been
screaming at the top of our lungs at a sibling in the middle of a store ,we would’ve gotten our asses run over with the shopping cart!

Don’t get me wrong, I realize how shitty kids have gotten over the past few years; however, the way I see it, it’s not the kids themselves. It’s their parents.

No punishment. No spankings. Nothing. They sit there and try to negotiate with a 4-year-old hoping not to be judged as bad people by those surrounding them. You know what? If you let your little terror run around doing whatever the hell they want, you’re a horrible parent. I’m not sorry. Stop acting so pitiful, pick your kid up, and discipline them in some manner! It’ll be a world of kindness to both those around you and for your future sanity…no lie. It is the children of parents like these that make me want to puke, because these are the little idiots bringing children into this world while still children themselves. Their only focus is on being the “cool parent” whose child will love them.

Speaking of little idiots, I’m sick if seeing obese children walking through the mall holding a cookie! You wonder why they’re overweight? Because you feed them all the time to suppress their tears and don’t make them get off their butts to go outside and play!

You created this. Yes. I’m looking at YOU.

I can honestly say that I hate stupid people. There’s nothing more I want to do than to put parents and children into a rehab program for being nightmares.

I can also say I am scared for the rest of not only my generation but the future generations to come.

These are parts of the reason that I long for the zombie apocalypse.

-lee

P.S. STOP BEING STUPID!!!!